aj 2

here are the rest of my pictures. :) :)

.

photography by lisa crook

editing by lisa crook and michelle woolf

aj

so here it is:

i got my pictures taken. hopefully you all will like them .:)

all photography by lisa crook

editing by lisa crook and michelle woolf

untitled.

i got my pictures taken on friday.

hopefully i can get them up on here soon so you all can see.

my heart is hurting right now.

i wish it would stop.

but we all know that you can never tell your heart what to feel.

i can't stop this aching confusion inside that is taking over my being.

it's killing me.

it's color coded correctly.

good morning ladies and gentler ones. it is hailing outside my window.
i woke up at six in the morning to get ready for a service project today.
in one of my college classes we have to get into a group and come up with an eight hour service project. it took my group and i forever to come up with a project. we finally settled (against my ideas) to go to an elementary school to weed, pick up trash, and plant flowers and trees.
now i am all for making the environment look beautiful but this was ridiculous.
i mean, my group got this assignment over a month ago. i was giving all these ideas but everyone always seemed to have a problem with them. i was the only one giving ideas. the only imput my group put in was saying that my ideas wouldn't work.
.
can i just let you in on a little known fact?
everyone has a color personality. i learned about it in my class (communications which is highly interesting).
the four colors are:
1. red
(motive: POWER)—these are the power wielders. power: the ability to move from point A to point B and get things done, is what motivates and drives these people. they bring great gifts of vision and leadership and generally are responsible, decisive, proactive and assertive.
2. blue

(motive: INTIMACY)—these are the do-gooders. intimacy: connecting, creating quality relationships and having purpose, is what motivates and drives these people. they bring great gifts of quality and service and are generally loyal, sincere, and thoughtful.

3. white
(motive: PEACE)—these are the peacekeepers. peace: the ability to stay calm and balanced even in the midst of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. they bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, and good-listeners.

4. yellow
(motive: FUN)—these are the fun lovers. fun: the joy of living life “in the moment”, is what motivates and drives these people. they bring great gifts of enthusiasm and optimism and are generally charismatic, spontaneous, and sociable.

.
when you take the test to figure out what you are, you can sometimes be a combination of two or three. sometimes the results change with mood. when i take the test i am usually a red followed very closely with blue. i only had a couple points on white and yellow even though i do share a small piece of their qualities.
it is a very interesting topic and once you learn about it you start to notice it in the people around you. like your mum could be a white while your father seems more of a red. and speaking of couples, some color people don't work well with others. like a red and a yellow would clash terribly because a red wants to accomplish something while the yellow just wants to play.
this was researched for a long time by phsycologists and scientists. they have made books about the topic and have gained a much bigger understanding of people and how/why they think and act.
.
but anyways, sorry that was a long description. i brought it up because i am a red as i stated before. however, the others in my group are not. i have four other people in my group, two boys and two girls. one boy is a white and the other three are yellows. can you see the problem here? a red (me) wants to get things done, a white wants everyone to just get along so they go along with anything, and yellows never shut up. they talk and talk and talk. so when we have a lone red who wants to get this shitty project over with, the yellows want to socialize day and night and the white barely speaks because he doesn't want to start drama. it is quite frustrating. so now we are doing this service last minute because no one listens to me.
*rolls eyes dramatically*
i told everyone that it was going to rain and snow this weekend but
"nooo alexandra, we need to get this over with. we need to plant those flowers and trees..."
in the hail? you want to plant flowers and trees in this weather? are you all high?
... they called ten minutes before i was leaving to go help to say that the weather is too bad to do the project.
NO WAY!
seriously, if people just listened to me the first time i wouldn't have had to wake up early on a saturday for absolutely no damned reason.
.
so now i am absolutley exahusted because i was up half the night with T and woke up at the crack of dawn for nothing. but you all know this about me:
i can't sleep worth shit.
so now it is eight in the morning and i am writing this.
.
last night was pretty good though i suppose. i went with T to his best friend's house to watch one of my favorite movies: waking ned devine. it is an irish movie about a town full of mostly old people that are trying to get nearly seven million dollars from a dead man who won the lottery....
it is good, believe me. :)
.
well keep daydreaming and sorry i seemed so angry. you probably would be too though. haha
.
i got the picture from the moldy doily blog. her friend designed the clothes.

if i had a tumor, i'd call it marla.

one of most beloved movies of all time:
fight club.
and my favorite character?
marla singer.
she is sultry and trampy and dirty.
very dirty.
she breathes smoke and has never fucked like this since grade school.
although the movie was made nearly ten years ago, i still love to party like it's 1999.
you should join me. :)

all photos found on google images.

untitled.

i got this sweet email from a man about my profile. it made me smile. i hope he isn't the only one to see i am very mature for my age. haha

"Hi I read your "about me", you gonna do great in life. You sound like you're pretty mature..And the guy thing youll figure it out and have them wraped around your finger!!!!!!!!!!!! Been their done that.. hit me up sometime.. LOL Chas"

glance.

i was told that i looked very pretty today by someone highly unexpected.

... it made my day.

:)

diary of a sleepless mind.

dear diary,

i don't know if it's tomorrow already,

or are we still in yesterday?

.

because i still can't sleep.

.

i have put in older posts that i have trouble sleeping.

well last night wasn't any better.

i ended up sluffing school today and going over to my friend T's house.

he works all night about an hour away from where we both live and he was exhausted too.

we ended up sleeping all day, well until two in the afternoon.

he was so nice about it too because i wasn't just tired.

i have been having family problems and he sat and listened to me vent for the longest time.

then he dragged his mattress out from his bedroom in front of the telly and we just both feel asleep.

i was able to get up in time to make it home before me mum wondered where i was.

she has no idea how much i skip class.

i mean, i don't really that much.

but today was the first time i sluffed the whole day.

i missed both my art classes.

but i could not take going.

i would've have broke.

i felt like T was the only person i could go to and i was right.

he made me feel so much better.

haha i can still smell his cologne on my shirt. :)

.

isn't it nice to know that someone really cares about you sometimes?

it doesn't happen often.

to me at least.

but when it does, i feel so alive and loved.

.

i just wish he didn't have to go back to work that workaholic.

.

the picture and title was also from chipli.

http://chipil.deviantart.com/art/Diary-of-a-sleepless-mind-100341230

chipil the thrill.

i came across this hauntingly wonderful photographer today.
she is the perfect example of enigma and lustly charm.
i love this kind of photography because of its dark and lovely aspects.
her name is jackeline moller.
enjoy. :)

here is the photographer herself.

love, love, love the hair. it is my color! :)

you really need to check out her spot on deviant art because these have the most beautiful titles.

i love her glasses.

these next two are my favorites. the titles are:

"i died here yesterday."

i totally own this shirt. :)

.

http://chipil.deviantart.com/

.

keep daydreaming!

untitled.

i am happy at the moment. :)

.

i took this pic of me months ago. before i cut my hair. i am wearing my paramore T. you can even see a really old piece of my artwork in the background from many years ago. :)

.

i hope everyone's day is going beautifully!

.

love always,

aj

here comes the sun.

you know that big, huge, ball of fire that heats the air and makes life warmer? yeah well, it is finally poking out from behind the clouds to shine forth some spring.

.

i went to salt lake city yesterday and stopped by urban outfitters. i was there for about two hours. seriously, i don't think i have ever found anything there that i didn't like.

.

i found an apartment! i am probably going to move in a couple of months after i graduate. where i am moving is not exactly where i want to live for the rest of my life but it has some good points.

1. i get it all to myself.

2. it has a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a loft.

3. it has heating and air conditioning.

4. i get to decorate it how i want.

5. i get it really cheap because the land lady is my older sister's aunt-in-law.

6. it is pretty much brand new.

it is a wonderful place but i would really like to move to cali or seattle. my plan is to live in this new apartment for about a year so i can save up money and then move to where i really want to live.

.

i gotta go shopping for some things to make this place my own!

.

picture came from the drifter and the gypsy blog i believe. i found it a couple weeks ago so i can't exactly remember! i am sorry!

.

keep day dreaming.

thou shalt not judge.... right?

i heard this weekend is going to finally be sunny and warmer! i am so siked. hopefully for once the weather man will be correct.

.

i am headed down to salt lake city on saturday to go to some art galleries perhaps and the gateway, which is a big outdoor mall. it is the only place in utah (that i know of) that has an urban outfitters. i am hoping that i can find some beautiful things to buy. i am dying to get a new headpiece. i love the outfitter's feather headbands. they are so pretty. i also really like their rings and necklaces. and who could forget their shirts, shoes, and pants? no one. haha i also get quite the kick out of the quirky books they sell.

.

you want to know something i have been pondering about?

i have been thinking a lot about the whole gay-marriage thing that is going on around the country. so many people are for it but then so many people are against it, like all issues there has to be two sides.

me mum is very against the whole idea even though she works with a homosexual man who has a very steady boyfriend. he is a very nice guy. i once did an art commision for him.

and i have so many homosexual friends at school both male and female. i love each one of them. to tell you the truth, i have nothing against homosexuality. nothing what-so-ever. my own aunt is a lesbian and has had the same girlfriend for many, many years. i love them both. they are two of the nicest people in my whole family. my aunt's girlfriend has been accepted by my family as one of us, even though she is not aloud to marry my aunt where they live (wisconsin).

i have a friend that i love so much who is gay and he is one of my most nice friends.

what i am trying to say is, why is america judging these people and not letting them do what they want just because they don't think the way the government does? or the others of america?

we are the so-called "free" country but yet people that are different from the "popular" group are shut down and ridiculed. it just isn't right.

.

i am sorry if i offended anyone with this. i am really just trying to see the other side of this issue that is consuming our country. i live in a place where "different" is just not on the winning side. you gotta fit in or you are looked down upon.

i just believe that people should be able to make their own decisions. i don't think it is up to the others on this continent to tell us how we should live.

.

the picture came from:

http://goldenhair.deviantart.com/art/two-again-97980868

i can feel the pressure.

these days lately have been such a tiresome bore. i feel like i have been lying around my house eating m&m's and ravioli for weeks even though it has only been a few days. i think i have gained five pounds in the last week because i haven't been working out and eating me mum's pancakes with strawberries, sugar, and whipped creme.
i feel disgusting.
i went to "target" with me mates when we sluffed fourth period yesterday. they all tried on bikinis and looked absolutely fit and beautiful. i couldn't bring myself to show them the ones i tried on. i felt so ugly and out of shape. i need to stop eating so much and start working out again. i am a veggie so me mum keeps trying to shove meat down my throat saying it is blasphemous to not eat what God provided for me. um ok? i thought God gave us agency. and she says she follows God's standards. whatever.
i was not trying to say back there that i think i am overweight or something. i really don't believe that. i don't weigh much. but since i have gained five pounds i now weigh 110. i am skinny all over my body except for the section where summer demands you to look attractive: the stomach. eating nothing but junk food for the past few weeks results in a belly that is not appealing to me. i mean, i doubt anyone else in the world could give a shit about my stomach.
but i do.
i would rather have my whole body thicker as long as i had good healthy abs. i am not obsessed. i am just concerned about my health and body. i don't want to be a pole, i just want to be fit so when i look in the mirror i am satisfied.
seriously, my abs are the only thing i regret in my life right now. maybe i should revert to celary for awhile. haha
c'mon, i know every girl out there and maybe even some men, have felt this way.


i am so excited for summer and the things it will bring to my life! here is just a small little list of what i am looking forward to this coming up season:
1. i get to graduate highschool.
2. i get to move out.
3. i will be spending every moment i can with me boy mates.
4. swimming!
5. roadtrips are a must.
6. seattle and cali.
7. flowers and green everywhere.
8. the ocean.
9. cool grass.
10. drawing and painting outside.
11. going to college.
12. decorating my own place finally!
and
13. having a summer love.

what are you looking forward to?

.

photos from:
http://ladyofvelvet.deviantart.com/art/Summer-Love-107628337

and

http://complejo.deviantart.com/art/Last-Days-Of-Summer-63299566