first rule about jared: you must always love jared.

my uh, newest crush.

um, i love him.

jared leto. lead singer of 30 seconds to mars and also an actor.

you can recognize him mostly in the movies "alexander", "requiem of dreams", and my personal favorite: "fight club" as angel face.

angel face INDEED.

i couldn't resist this one ;)

as angel face in "fight club" back in '96. i like him with darker hair better but i loved him in this movie.

.

all photos found on google images.

untitled.

this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

i have insomnia.

i seriously think i have insomnia.

i haven't slept in over two weeks.

i am alive but feel dead.

does anyone know a way to get yourself to fall asleep?

don't say anything stupid like "counting sheep" or something lame like that.

i am seriously in need of some advice to get me to dream again.

i miss the world i used to visit when i slept.

.

http://dziafna.deviantart.com/art/insomnia-51520269

i have become tired of dancing.

like i said in my last post, this past week has been absolutely out of control.
i am entirely exhausted to the point of hopelessness.
i am in AP Art and the final test was this last friday. i had to compose a portfolio filled with my art on an online website where college professors judge my work to decide if i deserve college credit for it. i also had to send in five original pieces that they can see personally.
i can not discover my results on this test until late june to early july. i am quite on edge with anxiety. i am fearing that i will not be able to contain my excitement in a patient state any longer.
and it has only been two days.
i have kept myself up for over a week trying to create pieces that i believe fits the standards of the judging. my art teacher pulled me aside on friday after i had mailed my portfolio to the eastern part of the country and told me that my portfolio was, in her opinion, the best out of my whole class and the other students that was turning their art in as well.
i guess that boosted my hope up a bit.
so that is why i have not posted hardly this past week. i have been so booked up with expectations. but i am finished with it and i pray that it has all been worth it.

somebody rox.

hey sorry on my lack of posting the past couple days. it has been quite the week! i will update soon but for now here is a beautiful photoshoot of mischa barton from the magazine cosmopolitan. hope you enjoy it! i just found it on her facebook page and fell in love.

one of my favorites.

this one is so glamorous.

be still my gentle heart.

so today i thought that sluffing just wasn't the right thing to do anymore. haha so i got home release.

i told my school counselor that my sociology class was pointless and repetitive. all we do is take notes. the teacher always finishes about a half hour before class should even get out so the rest of the class and me just sleep, daydream, or listen to music.

in my case, i take a dose of all three.

but anyways, my counselor believed me and so now i have dropped sociology for a time to just go home for the rest of the day. how nice it feels. :)

.

picture found on deviantart.com

the law of the jungle.

may has started and that means that we are graced with another photospread from la2day.

this time around, the jungle book is the inspiration.

.

Now this is the Law of the Jungle - as old and as true as the sky;

And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.

Wash daily from nose-tip to tail-tip; drink deeply, but never too deep;

And remember the night is for hunting, and forget not the day is for sleep.
If ye kill before midnight, be silent, and wake not the woods with your bay,

Lest ye frighten the deer from the crops, and the brothers go empty away.

Ye may kill for yourselves, and your mates, and your cubs as they need, and ye can;

But kill not for pleasure for killing, and seven times never kill Man.

The Kill of the Pack is the meat of the Pack.

Ye must eat where it lies;

And no one may carry away of that meat to his lair, or he dies.

Now these are the Laws of the Jungle, and many and mighty are they;

But the head and the hoof of the

Law and the haunch and the hump is - Obey!

models: tomo miyama, celeste thorson, michael freeby

photography by shannon rowland
photographed at the standard hotel hollywood
poem by rudyard kipling from the second jungle book
website link:
http://www.la2day.com/fashion/photo_spread_the_law_of_the_jungle
.
keep on daydreaming!

inside out.

i have always admired the young actress emmy rossum. she is so gentle yet seductively talented with her acting and singing. you will remember her most in her role as christine in the phantom of the opera starring opposite gerard butler. in 2007, emmy debuted her first solo album called "inside out." i bought it as soon as i heard about it.

i love it.

you have to kind of like calming, running-through-a-field-of-flowers- type music to really appreciate it. and i do. haha her voice is so angelic. she wrote nearly every song her way. she wanted it to be like that. all the many voices in each song you hear is emmy. she recorded herself singing each high and low note and then combined them all to make each song. her voice also substitutes many instruments. i remember reading in an article about her once that she wanted to create an album that was her and what was inside her.

here are some pictures of her from her album and her first music video, "slow me down" which is one of my favorites from the cd.

the song lyrics are from her song "falling." it is one of my other favorites.

.

What's coming over me

I've no control

I hear a voice saying get a hold

Of yourself you seem like

Someone else I don't know

Where have my senses gone,

I lost my way

With every touch you intoxicate

Pull me in, stop making

My head spin, I'm losing it

Upside down my feet

can't find the ground

My mixed up mind's a blur

I trip on every word

Cause I'm falling, falling fast

Like I always do

Tell me it won't pass

I've everything to lose

Stop me before I go too far

Go on go on keep me falling

Hold my tongue before I say too much

Please don't run

I need to know because

I'm gonna let go c'mon catch me

Go on go on keep me falling

You are everywhere inside my head

And I'm all tangled up in your web

So surreal but I like how it feels

In this reverie

Just a look and I'm not thinking straight

I'm addicted I don't wanna wait I'm letting go

Of everything that I know, I'm losing it

Up and down my spine go shock waves now

Tumbling heels over head

Lost in this maze again

Cause I'm falling, falling fast

Like I always do

Tell me it won't pass

I've everything to lose

Stop me before I go too far

Go on go on keep me falling

Hold my tongue before I say too much

Please don't run I need to know because

I'm gonna let go c'mon catch me

Go on go on keep me falling

the songs on the album:

1. slow me down: the first single and the favorite of most.

2. inside out: the song that is also the title of the album. i like this one because it kind of causes you to sway back and forth listening to it. it is very relaxing. it is about how she wonders if you will still love her if you see what she has inside.

3. stay: this one is not my favorite mainly because of the beginning. i am not a fan of the sound of the many voices singing.

4. falling: one of the ones i like the best. it is about "fallin" in love. :)

5. the great divide: this one is phenominal because emmy's voice is incredible. she said in an interview that she had to work for days practicing to train her voice to preform such range.

6. lullaby: this one isn't really a lullaby to me. it is very much like "stay" in the aspect of i do not like the beginning voices. but i like the rest of the song.

7. don't stop now: i love this one too. it is kind of sad because it is about a girl and how she is in love with a man but he doesn't love her back. he loves another. so she is saying that the only way she can get over it is if he continues to ignore her.

8. high: this one is a 50/50 for me. i don't love it but i don't hate it. it is one of the more faster one ones. but none of her songs are really faster, haha, just a little faster than the rest.

9. a million pieces: i like this one as well. except for the beginning verse. her voice sounds a little strange in my opinion.

10. rainy days and mondays: this song is a remake from way back in the day. i love it just because i can listen to it when i am depressed. :)

11. anymore: this one means a whole lot to emmy. she wrote it for her dad who left her and her mum when she was really little. i like this one too.

photos found on emmy's website:

http://www.emmyrossumfan.com/gallery/index.php?cat=49

please check this beautiful album out. emmy worked her ass off to make this her own. it is very different than you would expect and very unlike the popular music of today. and this is why i love it.

.

keep daydreaming. :)

i want breakfast with audrey...

because i love her.
if she was still living today i would kidnap her and marry her. her and her cat named "cat."
she is one of the most equisitely and admirably women in all of history.
am i wrong?
no i am not.
here are some snapshots of her in one of my favorite movies of her and one of my favorite movies of all time:
breakfast at tiffany's.

one of my most beloved parts in the whole movie.

if you have lived your life without seeing this classic movie you really are not living.

.

here audrey is again. i am in love with her classic, elegant, and graceful style. i doubt she ever needed to put any effort into what she did and is still doing to people everywhere.

.

photos found on google images.

.

keep daydreaming!

surveyed.

Are your parents married or divorced? my parents are divorced.
Are you a vegetarian? yes to an extent i am. i only eat meat if i am forced and i can't see it.
Do you believe in Heaven? heaven is something i believe in yes, but i am not sure where it is or who gets to live there.
Have you ever come close to dying? a few times.
What jewelry do you wear 24/7? i wear my peace and love neckalace and a couple of bracelets that match pretty much everything.
Are you eating? not at the moment. i had some doritos a couple of minutes ago.
Do you eat the stems of broccoli? yes but they have to be cooked. i hate cold veggies.
Do you wear makeup? yes but not a lot.
Would you ever have plastic surgery? no. i think if i had that kind of money i would just go to italy or something.
What do you wear to bed? shorts and a T.
Have you ever done anything illegal? yes but nothing drastic.
Can you roll your tounge? haha yes. i had to do it just now to make sure i could.
Do You have a boyfriend or girlfriend? nope. neither.
Do you believe in Abortions? only if the mother's life is in danger. other than that, i think everyone child should have a chance.
What is your Hair color? auburn-brown, black, and purple.
Future child's name, boy and girl? oh i like so many.
Do you smoke? no i do not.
If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? italy.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? one yes but it so big i use it as a pillow.
If you won the lottery, what would you do first? go to italy or buy myself a lovely apartment in the city somewhere.
Gold or silver? silver
Hamburger or hot dog? hamburger if i had to choose.
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? reeses, frapaccinos, and pasta.
City, beach or country? a city near the beach. :)
What was the last thing you touched? the keyboard.
Where did you eat last? here in my house.
When's the last time you cried? the other day.
Do you read blogs? yes i do.
Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? haha i do sometimes. not like over the top, but i wear men's clothes sometimes. they are comfy.
Ever been involved with the police? yes.
What's your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap? garnier fruitis
Do you talk in your sleep? no but i have been known to cry.
Ocean or pool? ocean.
What's your favorite song at the moment? Carve Your Name by The Grates.
Have you ever had a cavity? no i never have.
Window seat or aisle seats? window.
Ever met anyone famous? not really. they weren't that known.
Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? yes i do. i have come such a long way.
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? i do both.
What is your fav. sport to play? swimming and raquet ball.
Basketball or football? football
When was the last time you went to the bathroom? about two hours ago.
Do you drive a stick? as a matter of fact i do. it is a piece of shit car.
Cake or ice cream? icecream although right now i want some chocolate cake or some beautiful cupcakes.
Are you self-conscious? sometimes yes.
Are you in love with any of your close friends? no i am not. don't get me wrong, some of my friends are very attractive but i would never want to ruin our relationships.
Have you ever given money to a bum? no.
Have you been in love? not exactly.
Where do you wish you were? boston right now.
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? nope.
Can you tango? yes. well i learned to but i kind of forgot. i could remember it if someone started dancing it with me again though.
Last gift you received? a frapaccino from my friend.
What occasion did you recieve your gift? it was senior-sluff day. haha
Last thing you spent lots of money on? pants.
Where do you live? in bloody utah.
Last wedding attended? an old family friend's daughter. she got married to an eastern world man and it was very beautifully arranged. so many flowers and fruit and colorful dresses.
Favorite restaurant? tuccis's, olive garden, gobora brothers, and pad thai.
What is your favorite kind of car? i like older cars. they have a history and personality.
Most hated food(s)? mushrooms, seafood, and meat.
Most loved food(s)? food that is blasting with flavors.
Can you sing? people say i can but i just goof around.
Person on your mind? this boy.
What's your least fav. chores? i hate all chores. haha
Favorite drink? italian sodas and frapaccinos, guava juice, mango juice, papaya juice and horchatas.
Currently have a Crush? no not right now.
How long was your longest drive in a car? a full 24 hours to wisconsin.

it isn't a lie, she is beautiful.

i found these just a second ago.

mischa barton on the set of her new movie, "beautiful lie"

i love her outfits!

.

photos found on mischa's facebook page.

inspire me.

so all of you know that i am soon moving into my own apartment (roommates not included.)
and i want it to look like me.
unfortunately i have had to endure eighteen years of living in me mum's idea of style:
pictures of jesus on every wall,
five bibles in every room,
pink accessories,
fake flowers because she can't keep real ones alive to save her life,
and ect.
so being out on my own will be kind of what the pilgrims felt when they were finally aloud to leave england to leave their own way.
so being in the pre-jitter excitement state, i found these rooms that i find qutie inspiring and beautiful.

'til it happens to you.

this is a song by corinne bailey rae. it is exactly how i have been feeling lately. it is called "'til it happens to you"

I know what I said, was heat of the moment.

There's a little truth in between the words we spoke and,

it's a little late now to fix a heart that's broken.

Please don't ask me where I'm going.

Cause I don't know.

No I don't know, anymore.

It used to feel like heaven,

It used to feel like May.

I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony,

Now they've gone away.

Nobody wants to face the truth, but you won't believe what love can do.

Till it happens to you.

Till it happens to you.

Went to, the old flat, guess I was trying to turn the clock back, but how comes

That nothing feels the same now when I'm with you?

We used to stay up all night, in the kitchen, when our love was new.

Ooooh love,

Am I a fool to believe in you?

'Cause I don't know, no I don't know anymore.

It used to feel like heaven, it used to feel like May.

I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony, now they're gone away.

Nobody wants to know the truth until their hearts broken.

Don't you dare tell them what you think to do,till they get over.

You can only learn these things from experience

When you get older.

I just wish that someone would've told me.

Mmm hmm mmmm.

.

i was contacted by my favorite cousin yesterday on facebook. i have not spoken to him in years and haven't seen him since i was younger. he is around thirty years old and lives in boston. he spends his days partying and living it up driving down the streets with the top down on his way to cafes. i miss him and want to visit. he told me that he has a spare bedroom with my name written all over it.

shawn, as soon as i get the money, i am coming.

i want to get out of this shit hole so terribly bad. it sucks ass. the girls here are nothing but drama and can't have a conversation worth while to save their lives and the boys are just that: boys. they are so immature and all act as if we are still in gradeschool.

i want freedom.

i want life.