Wednesday, January 14, 2009

the more i try, the more i sink.

i have never been so offended in my life.

in my computer tech class, my teacher (mrs. olds) made us all do powerpoints about ourselves, calling it "all about me". at first, it was the most entertaining thing we had ever done in her classroom.

i asked if it was okay to put some of my art on mine that i had downloaded on my school account. she said whatever and other stupid crap i don't even care to remember about how it should be appropriate.

so, i uploaded one of the pictures on the first slide. as soon as i did, my screen turned black. i couln't see what i was doing. i looked over at mrs. olds and she wasn't looking at me. i first thought that i had just pushed something and i did it myself because a second later, it came back on to normal.

so i kept working and a moment later, my screen went black again. now i knew then that it wasn't me, all i was doing was typing words for heaven's sake.

now mrs. olds has this damn device on her computer that i am sure every computer teacher has: it is this thing that allows her to see everyone's screens on her computer, so she can "make sure" we don't go to "inappropriate" or write something "bad" in her eyes. (sorry for all the quotations.)

when she had blackened my screen the second time, i still didn't know what i had done wrong. she then said to the class,

" i don't want anybody putting inappropriate pictures on your powerpoint"

then she looked at me and said,

"even if it is your own art."

i was like "excuse me?"

my whole row asked if she was talking about me and i nodded, my blood starting to boil. they looked at the drawing she was talking about and they all agreed that there was nothing wrong with it.

none-the-less, mrs. olds made me delete all my drawings i had uploaded even though she had only seen the one. she said that if one of my pieces was inappropriate in her eyes, they must all be bad. she said,

"it's one thing to do drawings in an art class, but it's wrong to show the whole world what you have done. your stuff is not appropriate in my class. no one should see it."

.... i was holding in so much at that point. i mean, i can accept critisizm easily, i really don't mind it. but she, i thought, was totally out of line. what kind of sh** is that anyways?

so instead of putting my own art up, i found an artist that was similar to my style and i put one of his sketches on my slideshow. i was going to tell the class that his work was a lot like mine so they all could get an idea of how i draw.

so i printed my finshed powerpoint like the rest of the class. mrs. olds had everyone turn in their slides to the turn-in box, that is, except me. when i printed mine, she had me bring it to her directly. she looked it over and the first thing she said as she refered to the sketch i had put on there by that other artist was,

"did you draw this? i don't want it on there if you drew it."

finally i couldn't hold in much what i was wanting to say. i sort of snapped at her in a loud voice saying,

"no i did not draw it. someone else did. you wouldn't let me put my own stuff up remember?"

she replied,

"i can't tell if she is inappropriate because the picture is too small."

i snapped again,

"there is nothing wrong with that picture. the woman is wearing a turtleneck thing for crying out loud. the only skin you can basically see is her face!"

mrs. olds then told me that she would be watching me and what i do with my powerpoint. i wanted to cry i was so mad. i didn't do anything wrong. i didn't. the picture she amde me delete is my friend's favorite piece. there is nothing wrong with it.
i am so happy i only have tomorrow left in that class and then the new semester will be here.

i just, no one has ever looked at my art before and said no one should see that. i am known at my school for the art i do. it's what people know me by. they don't remember my name half the time but they always remember the drawings i create.

it just isn't fair.
i will upload the picture i tried to put on my slideshow later. i have to go to school now. wait, you know actually i already uploaded that picture on here forever ago. i will put it on here again so you don't have to search through my posts to find it. but it'll have to wait til after school.
the picture at the top was found here:
anyways, have a great day and continue to daydream.

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