Friday, June 5, 2009

andy warhol's muse.

can i just say that i love factory girl?
i want to marry sienna miller.
she is so beautiful.
this movie is down right hott.
i am watching it right now.
sigh. :)

we're at a stand still.

my latest fashion finds.
alexander wang.
i love him. :)

between the lines i saw the light but unfortunately it decided to hide from me.

i am exhausted.
can i just say that i hate sleepovers?
i mean, i think i am too old for them now.
i know some may say, "i will never be too old for that kind of stuff. i love being a kid"
but i am not like that.
even when i was around eight years old, i remember wishing i was older.
i was never a big fan of being a child.
ten and a half years older and i still feel the same way.
i guess certain situations in life force you to be like that sometimes.
all my friends are these happy, bright, youth-like girls.
they never want to grow up.
they love sleepovers, little makeovers, gossip, partying, ect.
i do not know how i ever got stuck with them. haha
i love them all to death but i am just so different from them.
last night was the big all-night senior party.
i think i was the only one from my school that did not go.
i am not a party person.
i mean, i love having a good time and i don't mean to sound "boring" or something.
i am just on the more shy and quiet side who would probably have more fun having a deep conversation than partying it up all night with men and flirty girls.
it just is not me.
whenever i have a sleepover at my friend's house i can never wait to go home.
and when i have a friend spend the night at my house i can not wait for them to leave.
i love spending time with people, but i am not willing to spend every moment of the day with people like my friends do.
i am a very independant person and have no problem spending time with myself and doing things myself.
the reason why i even bring this up is because my friend perlita spent the night last night.
she ate all my food, wanted to watch pathetic and unoriginal chick-flicks, and wanted to complain on and on about boys in her life.
it was so annoying.
i would say more but i got to go.
i got to do some stuff.
i hope you all have a great morning, afternoon, evening, or night, depending on where you all are.
by the way, my camera is broken. grr.
picture: me.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

it's the infectuous breath of life that keeps the angels moving.

good morning everyone.
yesterday was the last day of school and my last day of highschool.
now i just have to take a quick one to two week summer class to make up some past credits i never received.
been painting lately and excercising.
i am trying to get in shape for this saturday.
my friends want to go on this huge, long hike.
i haven't been hiking in years so i got to get myself together. :)
plus i am so clumsy so i am going to be tripping and falling on my face the whole time.
ugh, embarrassing.
i crave a white chocolate raspberry mint frap right now.
i think i am going to go paint or read or something since it is early and i have nothing to do.
sorry this post is so randomaly pointless but i really do not know what to say.
ever have one of those days?
those days when you just have no idea what to tell people?
i have them quite often.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

come with me, into the trees... let's get away, just for one day.

this is an amazing "fan made" music video for shiny toy guns version of "stripped."

it is so wonderully done.

and to "morning glory", i listened to the depeche mode version and loved it too! :)

i am not sure if it is truely artistically motified.

this one made it to two art shows.

here is some of my latest art pieces. i don't think i have ever shown anyone on my blog my art. i know i talk about it quite often but never actually posted some.
this one was actually inspired by an anne hathaway photo. i changed it up though. i always change photos in my art to make them my own.
this one is just a quick sketch.

i'm so sick, infected with, where i live.

i apologize for posting such a weird picture of myself.
i look positively sick or something, dead even.
but that is exactly how i feel.
can i ask you guys something?
okay, my parents are divorced and have been most of my life.
so think of this situation:
you find out that your dad is sleeping around with this woman.
she lives in the apartment above him.
she has three kids.
nearly every night, she leaves her kids to sleep with your father.
you know it is going on and you confront him about it.
he says that they are just friends.
you don't believe that fuck at all but try to let it go anyways.
then you go over to his house yesterday with your mum to pick up my little sister's child support that he owes.
you find her kids hanging around (your dad and "girlfriend" no where around) and they take you inside your dad's apartment to get the money.
(my dad let's his girlfriend and her kids come in and out of his aparment whenever they want. i on the other hand, have to call. his own daughter has to call)
then her kids start talking about how their mum "stayed the night down there" last night.
they see nothing wrong with it.
you go into his apartment and there are clothes and blankets all over the living room.
your dad ALWAYS keeps his house clean no matter what.
he is a clean freak.
you know exactly what had happened last night.
you feel like you are going to throw up.
you know he has the right to do what he wants, but your own father has been lying to you.
lying straight to your face.
i mean, you should be used to it because he has been doing it your whole life but this was the last straw.
you run out of his apartment and start to bawl your eyes out.
you never cry.
you always hold it in.
but for some reason you can't this time and you just let it flow out.
your mum tells you that when she confronted him about it, he said that he wishes you were more like his girlfriend's family.
"they accept me the way i am" he says.
what do you do?
never talk to him again?
or do you forgive him.... AGAIN?
he has been lying to me like this my whole life... me mum thinks that i have had enough but doesn't want me to lose contact with him.
"he is your father afterall" she tells me.
but i never want to speak with him again.
it isn't like i am good enough for my own fucking father anyways.
i apologize again for posting something so personal. i really have a hard time talking about my personal life so i thought this way, since none of you know me really, i cuold get an outside opinion. i really need this. thank you.
what would you do????
picture: me

Sunday, May 31, 2009

i hate sundays.

i am freaking bored today. here is what i have been doing all day:
taking pictures.
me and my sister.

the animals have escaped.

my friend chelsey and i went to perlita's for a sleepover on friday. it was pretty wild.

we played dressup with some of perlita's dance dresses. none of them were my style. i am more of a short dress, city sleek stuff. but it was fun.

sunday, bloody sunday.

sweet fellow blogger, patricia snook, gave me my first blog award! :)
thank you so much girl, i love your blog and it made my day!
visit her here, she is such a darling:
i am so, so grateful for the support i have gotten with this online "diary".
it is so fun to do and i also feel empathized with.
the things i go through are tough and to hear that i am not the only one with hard times make me feel so blessed, plus it is a great reminder to stay optimistic.
so thank you!
photos: me :)