Thursday, April 16, 2009

thou shalt not judge.... right?

i heard this weekend is going to finally be sunny and warmer! i am so siked. hopefully for once the weather man will be correct.
i am headed down to salt lake city on saturday to go to some art galleries perhaps and the gateway, which is a big outdoor mall. it is the only place in utah (that i know of) that has an urban outfitters. i am hoping that i can find some beautiful things to buy. i am dying to get a new headpiece. i love the outfitter's feather headbands. they are so pretty. i also really like their rings and necklaces. and who could forget their shirts, shoes, and pants? no one. haha i also get quite the kick out of the quirky books they sell.


you want to know something i have been pondering about?

i have been thinking a lot about the whole gay-marriage thing that is going on around the country. so many people are for it but then so many people are against it, like all issues there has to be two sides.

me mum is very against the whole idea even though she works with a homosexual man who has a very steady boyfriend. he is a very nice guy. i once did an art commision for him.

and i have so many homosexual friends at school both male and female. i love each one of them. to tell you the truth, i have nothing against homosexuality. nothing what-so-ever. my own aunt is a lesbian and has had the same girlfriend for many, many years. i love them both. they are two of the nicest people in my whole family. my aunt's girlfriend has been accepted by my family as one of us, even though she is not aloud to marry my aunt where they live (wisconsin).

i have a friend that i love so much who is gay and he is one of my most nice friends.

what i am trying to say is, why is america judging these people and not letting them do what they want just because they don't think the way the government does? or the others of america?

we are the so-called "free" country but yet people that are different from the "popular" group are shut down and ridiculed. it just isn't right.

i am sorry if i offended anyone with this. i am really just trying to see the other side of this issue that is consuming our country. i live in a place where "different" is just not on the winning side. you gotta fit in or you are looked down upon.
i just believe that people should be able to make their own decisions. i don't think it is up to the others on this continent to tell us how we should live.
the picture came from:

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

i can feel the pressure.

these days lately have been such a tiresome bore. i feel like i have been lying around my house eating m&m's and ravioli for weeks even though it has only been a few days. i think i have gained five pounds in the last week because i haven't been working out and eating me mum's pancakes with strawberries, sugar, and whipped creme.
i feel disgusting.
i went to "target" with me mates when we sluffed fourth period yesterday. they all tried on bikinis and looked absolutely fit and beautiful. i couldn't bring myself to show them the ones i tried on. i felt so ugly and out of shape. i need to stop eating so much and start working out again. i am a veggie so me mum keeps trying to shove meat down my throat saying it is blasphemous to not eat what God provided for me. um ok? i thought God gave us agency. and she says she follows God's standards. whatever.
i was not trying to say back there that i think i am overweight or something. i really don't believe that. i don't weigh much. but since i have gained five pounds i now weigh 110. i am skinny all over my body except for the section where summer demands you to look attractive: the stomach. eating nothing but junk food for the past few weeks results in a belly that is not appealing to me. i mean, i doubt anyone else in the world could give a shit about my stomach.
but i do.
i would rather have my whole body thicker as long as i had good healthy abs. i am not obsessed. i am just concerned about my health and body. i don't want to be a pole, i just want to be fit so when i look in the mirror i am satisfied.
seriously, my abs are the only thing i regret in my life right now. maybe i should revert to celary for awhile. haha
c'mon, i know every girl out there and maybe even some men, have felt this way.

i am so excited for summer and the things it will bring to my life! here is just a small little list of what i am looking forward to this coming up season:
1. i get to graduate highschool.
2. i get to move out.
3. i will be spending every moment i can with me boy mates.
4. swimming!
5. roadtrips are a must.
6. seattle and cali.
7. flowers and green everywhere.
8. the ocean.
9. cool grass.
10. drawing and painting outside.
11. going to college.
12. decorating my own place finally!
13. having a summer love.

what are you looking forward to?

rain, rain go away.

good morning everyone.

it is six o'clock and pouring rain outside.

i am so sick of rain!

rain has always been my favorite weather but it won't stop!

it has been like this for months now.

rain rain rain rain.

i hate utah weather.

one day it'll be completely sunny and gorgeous outside and then the next it will be looking like disaster.

the forcast here is so unpredictable.

if it keeps raining like this we just might see a flood here (overexageration).

i do not want to drive to school in this crap.

sorry i keep banging on and on about this but aren't any of you ready for summer?
picture from google images.

Monday, April 13, 2009

it is spring and that means blossoms are erupting.

my favorite perfumes at the moment. i am finding that i am drawn to flowery scents ( i already own marc jacob's daisy and vera wang's princess)

i have always loved dkny's "be delicious" perfumes but this one is my most adored. it is so prettily scented.

my other love is "sweet pea" from bath and body works. this one and "be delicious blossom" are actually quite similar. the difference? this one is about 30 bucks cheaper. haha
this one is astounding. it is
Limited Edition Rice Dry Oil Spray
Japanese Cherry Blossom
from bath and body works. it is incredible. when you spritz it on, your skin feels like silk. it is a beautiful find.

all photos found on bath and body works website and google images.

i just bought.

i also got these shoes and ring at buckle. the closest thing to urban outfitters i can get without driving an hour to salt lake city.
the ring was $8 and the shoes were about $50.
both photos were found on buckle's website.

it's a beautiful day for copies and tea bags.

so when i finally got to sleep last night (which was around one to two in the morning) i was awoken by my alarm clock which seemed like only five minutes later. i was late to school again. can i just say that i am so ready for college in a couple of months. and even more crazed about graduating highschool in less than a month. i know, i know. i am sure that i say this quite often but i can not help myself. highschool is shit and makes life hell.
i went shopping at the mall on friday and got myself some new clothes. mainly because i am getting my pictures taken professionally not this friday but next. i am only getting them done because i am getting it taken for free. that is a big highlight of the month of april for me just let me say. i have never been photographed before and i am thinking that it is all very wicked.
so i bought this flannel shirt from american eagle on friday:

now ae is the only store i will go to that is preppy. and i can only get things that do not have the ae brand name on it (minus the tag). they can have some cool stuff i must admit. every once in awhile. haha well i wore it to school today and everyone loved it.
i love when i get to something first and then everyone is jealous. prideful you might say but then again i am sure you feel the same way.
but i was the only person in my school that owned the shirt. not for long though unfortunately. a couple of girls asked me wear i got it. what could i say? you couldn't get that kind of shirt at hot topic.... maybe i don't know. they don't sell a whole lot of flannel at that store. anyways, i told them and they all want to go get it now. i told them that there were more colors and they were all, "oh no, i think i want the gray too."
i hate girls that have to be just like everyone else. get your own gosh damn shirt. i got it first and to want the exact color and everything as me means that you can't be yourself or original.
am i right or am i right?
but then again i may have asked for it. i did tell them where i got it.
someone duct tape my mouth please.
i hope this week goes by fast.
me mum is going to a protest on wednesday. against the president.
i live with the spawn of satan i believe.
i mean, i completely understand if you don't agree with the government and all, but to go to the capital of your state to complain in person? seriously, this is how we get world peace? not my cup of tea.
and speaking of tea, that is what the protest is about. half the country is reinacting the "boston tea party." and they say they don't want to pollute the ocean. actually, they are just mailing teabags to the white house.
me mum is even making posters. as if my family isn't enough of a freakshow already.
me mum won't stop banging on and on about how this will effect my life.
as if.
yeah sure it might, but it isn't today. i think i will just let me mum and the rest of the old time colonists have their fun.
i am just going to go draw or something.
if i see me mum on the telly i will scream.
and cry.
whatever comes first.
i got the shirt from and the top picture from google images as per usual. haha
keep dreaming and stay "patriotic". haha

Sunday, April 12, 2009

sleepless at 11

i can't sleep.
it is only 11 pm but i got school tomorrow.
i can never sleep.
my mind races and ponders on too many things at night.
you know when you go the whole day distracted by the many things in life and then darkness falls.
you lie your head to rest but to no avail because your brain starts to go all haywire with the things that are happening in your life.
and you can't control it.
you can't settle your mind just for a few hours to calm down.
too much shit in your life to worry about.
it's been hiding in the dark corners of your room until you are ready to sleep.
then it jumps all over you so you are full of panic and anxiety.
why does it happen to you?
why does it happen to me?
am i the only one that feels this?
i hope not....

i am jack's smirking revenge.

today is sunday: the day of rest.
obviously me mum doesn't understand that concept and still makes me get up to go to church. i completely understand that it is easter and it is like horrid or something to not go to church on this particular day but still, i would rather sleep than go.
i am so going to hell.
when i got to church i found that my purple hair definately was out of its welcoming state. people did not seem to approve of it. not that i care what anyone thinks though. i mean, that's why i got the hair color in the first place. but it was absolutely certain that i was out of my league according to everyone in my church. only one person complimented it while meanwhile i got disapproving stares from the older ladies and men.
smile and wave girl, smile and wave.
when i got home me mum forced me to watch this excruciatingly boring half hour segment on the life of christ. and let me tell you, not only had i seen that video like fifty times, i also just happened to already know everything it was talking about. i mean come on, does me mum really believe that i don't already learn this stuff every bloody week when she makes me endure the lessons over and over again on sundays?
something i do not understand with me mum is that she forces religion on me as if i am going to become a satan worshipper the second i move out in a couple of months. and not just with religion does she do this. no, she also tends to be really, abnormally strict. i mean, she has always had her stupid underage guidelines for me. but lately she is becoming over the top senial. seriously if i knew she wasn't me mum i would've thought that she just escaped from the crazy place. even my sis and poppa who doesn't even live with me notice it. then again maybe me poppa is just expressing how he has always felt about me mum before they divorced. she is going insane and trying to drag me down with her. i think she is the one who needs to be on medication. wait. she already is.
i think i am dwelling in what is most commonly called "hell on earth."
but on a lighter topic, me best mate jake came to pick me up yesterday to take me up to logan, which is about an hour away from "home sweet home." i want to go to college up there where he and me other close boy mates live and go to school. and can i just say now how much i love these boys? they are me best mates and i don't know what i would do without them. but anyways, he showed me around the campus and we checked out some apartments i might want to rent out. i rather die than have roommates. they rarely clean up after themselves and living with a bunch of girls is just drama. i hate drama. but it always seems to come to me. sigh. so i want a studio apartment or something just to myself so i can do what i want with it and only have to clean up after myself. plus i know how to actually rinse the bathtub after i bathe myself. then we went and got some icecream that was heaven let me tell you. we did a bunch of other stuff around campus (including painting easter eggs at jake's place haha) then we headed back own south to hang out with our other friends.
we went bowling and i got last place.
i suck ass at that game.
well, i think that is all for now. i hope you all keep daydreaming and have a very happy easter!
i got the dreamy picture from google images. seriously, that device brings up the coolest photos. you just type in the dumbest word and all these crazy images pop up.
i tend to be easily entertained. haha