the only reason...

i am at the point where i don't know the answer to anything.

before, i was known among my family and friends for always having something to say or having an answer to everything whether it was right or not.

but lately, the past couple days, i hardly have anything to say, because i am thinking i don't know the answer.

and i think so hard what i should do or what would be the right thing to say.

and i fail.

i can't think straight anymore.

what is wrong with me?

all i feel like doing is lying in my bed.

but then i realize that i would do nothing but think about the things that are bothering me if i do.

so i am forcing myself to get out tonight.

i am going to go hang out with my friends.

then maybe i won't think so much and i can do what i do best:

let go.

it is a-fluttering

here is beautiful kime in a navy flutter dress by designer Holly Harp. it is gorgeous.

noticing means nothing.

so i looked in your direction

but you payed me no attention

i know you don't listen to me

cuz you say you see straight through me

coldplay lyrics and a piece of my art.

look around.

"Life moves pretty fast... if you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it."- Ferris Bueller -

i need to work on this so much. i am so into my art right now and i sometimes forget to glance around me, observe what is around me. the most beautiful things in the world are the things we rarely notice.

the awakening with anne hathaway

anne hathaway is officially on the cover of the 2009 january vogue. people have told me i look a lot like her and i take that as a very nice compliment. i adore her. she is such a goofball and one of the more naturally beautiful actresses today. she has come so far since "the princess diaries" and has succeeded in making the world aware of her talent.

a song by staind that explains how i am feeling right now. it is called afraid to be alone.

I force myself through another day

Can't explain the way today just fell apart like everything

Right in my face

And I try to be the one

I can't accept this all because of you

I've had to walk away

From everything

I'm afraid to be alone

Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone

I'm afraid to come back home

Another sleepless night again

Hotel rooms my only friend

And friends like that just don't add up

To anything

And I try so hard to be everything

That I should never take away from you again

'Cause I heard ya say

I'm afraid to be alone

Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone

I'm afraid to come back home

I cannot forgetI live with regretI cannot forget

I live with...I'll live through this

I can't see through this

I can't do this anymore

I'm afraid to be alone

Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone

I'm afraid to come back home

Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone

I just wish I was back home

Home

please... let me go.

lately i have been feeling as if my parents are holding me down.

i am 18 but still live at home so i can finish highschool.

but since i became an "adult" i feel as though my mother and father just want me to stay a kid.

i am a grown woman and very mature for my age.

i have always been more mature then all my friends and people my age actually.

i am so ready to be let free from home and take care of myself.

i can do it, i know it.

they just have to have faith in me.

they need to let me go cuz i just want to fly.

here is a little bit of a vanessa hudgens song that relates to this:

what you think about this?

yeah i've been holding it in now i'm letting it flow

what you think about this?

i'm gonna do my own thing yeah

i'm flying solo, so

don't tell me how it's gonna be

and i promise myself

i just wana be free!

big shirts and girly frills.

along with paintings and drawings, kime buzzelli designs clothes. clothes, that is, for the brave girl who wants to stand out. i love her creations, she has such passion in what she does.

the moldy doily

one of my favorite blogs to read is of my friend kime buzzelli. don't you just love that name? :) her blog is called "the moldy doily" and is filled with her life. she is a fellow artist that has a unique way of doing her drawings and paintings. she creates mostly women and draws them diong the craziest things. they are very provacative, yet beautiful. she doesn't even plan what her art will look like, like me. while lookingat her art, you think it must have only taken her a matter a minutes to complete. i love her designs that she also creates around her people. she also designs her own clothing which have been worn by such celebrities as kate bosworth. she owns her own business where she can sell her art and other many things she creates. she now lives in the great city of l.a. with her fluffy cat georgie boy.

sometimes i think i create people in my head that

i can actually get along with.

like a daydream.

a world of my own where everyone in it is who i can handle.

and what i can handle.

then i wake up and reality hits me and i

realize those people and worlds don't exist.

it brings me down knowing i have

to face the actual world we all live in.

agnieszka szuba

these pieces of beautifully haunting art is by the artist agnieszka szuba. i just found her artwork today. i adore how the colors pop out of the picture.

lately i have been so inspired by the littlest things. being an artist who draws people (specifically women) i need inspiration. most of my drawings come from my head, but can easily be found on a similar picture. i can look at a picture but can never copy it. what i do is original and unique in my own way.

people have told me that my art has a very romantic feel to it. my women tend to be very sensual and beautiful even when i don't mean them to be. in fact, i never mean for any of my drawings to be like that. they just happen as soon as i place my pencil on the paper.

i want to one day continue my art with an artistic career. i am not quite sure what exactlyi want to pursue, but the more i create the pieces i do, the more i want to continue with it in my life. my biggest dream in life is to go to italy and study the art there and live there as well.

art is my passion.

if you thought i'd leave then you were wrong cause i just keep holding on

my very most recent drawing. i did it at 10:30 last night because i could not sleep for the life of me. it is a quick scetch that didn't take me long.

i have been in such a happy mood lately and i guess this represents my feelings.

dreamer.

good morning. actually i didn't get to sleep 'til 4:30 in the mornnig and i am still so tired! but it's okay.

i suppose now would be the time to tell you a little about me.

i am a girl of 18.

i am a senior.

i plan on going to art school.

i love looking at photos of different things.

i love drawing.

i am very opinionated so when i have something to say i will no matter what people think.

i am a very deep thinker.

i love music.

i hate silence.

avril lavigne is my role model.

i love scary stuff.

anything abnormal i adore.

love confuses me but i am learning slowly.

i need to be around people but i also love being alone.

i try hard not to judge people no matter what they are like.

i hate fakers.

i have no stereotype.

i wear what i want how i want it.

i don't follow trends.

i love movies.

i always have a question.

i have brown hair and dark brown eyes.

i am 5'3''.

i daydream.

i dream.

and i live them.

this is me.

hi. my name is alexandra jane welcome. this is my first blog ever and am still figuring it out. but i am going to focus a lot on art and fashion and other things i enjoy that you might too. i will post l8r more about me but me mum is wanting me to get off the computer. :)