and here we go again with all the things i said and did.

today is me mum's birthday.

she is 47 and i have no idea what i am going to do for her.

i am broke so i can't afford "the finer things in life" and i can not cook worth shit.

i was thinking about maybe drawing her a picture but i am not exactly sure what to draw for her.

i will think about it.

i got all day afterall.

.

my friend curtis has been having some issues lately.

he asked to come over last night to talk about it.

it's funny but i am the one out of all my friends that everyone comes to with their problems.

they say i listen really well and give great advice.

as great a compliment as that is, i still get so exhausted sometimes because i am the only one that really listens.

my friends will go on and on for hours with their lives and ask me for loads of advice.

i am so willing to help out, but when i need to talk, they are all of the sudden busy with something else.

they are great friends, but horrible listeners.

my family is the same way.

i seriously feel as if i have no one of my own to turn to when i need help.

anyways, i let him come over.

he said he would only stay for a couple of minutes to show me his new motorcycle.

he ended up staying five hours.

no joke, five hours talking about his problems.

i was so happy i could help; he told me that he can't talk about his problems with anyone else.

and that i was the only one that gave advice that makes any sense.

that meant so much to me to hear.

no one ever tells me that they appreciate my help really.

i mean, they will say thank you but they never really explain to me how much i have helped.

so when curtis expressed that to me i felt so, well, loved.

i felt a little bit of worth inside of me.

even though i was completely and utterly exhausted from helping him for five hours, i still enjoyed his company.

i hope that my advice really helped.

.

keep daydreaming to escape this life.