Thursday, June 18, 2009

situations seem to get affectuous charm through distant flashes of light.

so as i said before in the previous post, i went and hung out with derick and that other guy.
i was going to drive myself seeing as i rather do things myself but derick told me that other guy wanted to pick me up in his new car.
he got a brand new mazda 3 or whatever you call it and he wanted to drive it.
so i expressed an "okay" and within a couple of minutes the guy was in my driveway.
it wasn't as awkward as i had thought it would be.
but probably because i talked and talked all the way to derick's house and wouldn't let the guy talk.
i really didn't want him to.
how awful do i seem?
when we got to derick's, everything was just fine.
we watched the new movie "fired up".
it had some funny moments but was, in the end, not my kind of movie.
it was a too small-minded feature.
but derick loved it and wanted to watch it again so the other guy and i agreed.
it really was quite fun.
when it first started, derick i were trying to decide where to sit.
derick has two couches and the other guy had sat on the very end of one of them.
i did not want to sit on the complete other couch because then it would have seemed like i was separating myself from the two guys.
so i sat on the opposite end of the same couch that the other guy had.
i really believed that derick would take up the whole other couch to himself, but he didn't.
he came and sat right between the other guy and me.
i let out a sigh of relief.
i really did not want the other guy even tempted to scoot closer.
after the movie, derick got out his new touch screen/camera phone.
i asked to take some pictures but he teasingly replyed, "no way."
eventually i got it through a little bit of innocent wrestling.
he kept trying to get it back but to no avail.
i figured out how to work the camera and then started taking and looking at his pictures.
it was strange because derick made a point of him not wanting me to see the last picture.
"you can see the rest just not the last one."
i said, "it's probably of you and your girlfriend."
i laughed and scrolled down to the last picture.
sure enough, it was him and my best friend kissing.
i laughed because he seemed so embarrassed and weirdly enough, ashamed.
i said, "what's wrong, it's just kissing. you shouldn't be ashamed of kissing unless it is with the wrong person...."
he looked at me and replyed, "yeah... i know..."
i laughed and gave him back his phone.
he always seems to have a problem showing affection and love to my best friend in front of me.
i never see them kissing or even holding each other.
and he freaks out when i see a picture of them kissing.
they aren't even together anymore.
they broke it off when she moved away.
i do not know exactly how to look at all of this.
but i don't feel like i should look too much into it.
i think i should just let things fall where they need to and not try to make things happen that shouldn't.

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