breathing in the same sequence is hard enough when you are drowning.

i called my friend derick today.
we had a very lovely conversation.
we decided to get together today in about an hour.
unfortunately, another guy might come.
don't get me wrong, i do not mind anyone being there.
but this guy that might show up likes me more than i would prefer.
he has really started to take an interest in me.
i have known him for years and have always enjoyed his friendship.
but no more than that.
my friend perla told me to give him a chance.
but i already have enough trouble trusting men and i have never felt completely comfortable with him.
how can i be with someone or even give them a chance when i do not feel normal in his presence?
then again, perlita is a people pleaser and would give anyone a chance if she thought they were attractive in the slightest way.
i just do not know exactly how to act around him.
i do not wish to lead him on but i do not want to be rude in any way either.
i really like him as a friend.
i just am not a big fan of being alone with him or even thinking about being with him.
do i come off as mean thinking this way?
i, i really don't mean to sound like a jerk...
i am just the kind of girl that doesn't give her love to just anyone.
i am picky.
to tell you the truth though, i could see myself with derick.
i have never really thought about it before but now that i do, i really could see myself with him.
he is just so chill and knows how to just sit and listen.
he is never over the top and is mature.
problem with him though, is that he is one of my best friends' ex boyfriend.
um, yeah.
you can see the issue there.
although, i seriously don't know any guy that has not at least been on one date with her.
i don't know.
i have never been the type of girl to steal a guy or purposely make someone feel bad.
i suppose we will see what happens though.
.
keep daydreaming. :)